A Parody That Gives Cancer
by x45theoneandonly
Summary: Wanna get crazy? Than check this out.
1. Chapter 1

**Just wrote sum parody stuff. **

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Chapter 1: Leo gets a boner

On this very nice and sunny day Vgctz were sitting on the couch playing videogames all day. Little do they know that an old friend is coming to visit!

Suddenly! The door smashed inside killing 88 innocent drug dealers and pimps that were inside. A big fat black dude appeared in the frame of the door.

"Yo nuyghas!" Said the man.

"hu da fuck ur u?" Said Aeris, she was shocked! and was like "OMG guys WTF iz dis shit! Oh im a gurl gamer! I'm so seksy right?!" (no)

Anyway, the man walked up very close and tight to Aeris's's face and whispered with a deep black voice. "I kno were u live. I kno all about u baby. And im gonna get u too my hood and we all gonna party!". "k" Replied Aeris.

"Who are you!?" Said Leo. "Jesus crist Leo ur such an idiot!" Aeris interrupted, "You say 'hu ur u?' not 'who are you', jesus u can be such an idiot sometimes!" "Well im sorry I didn't mean to-" Aeris smacked Leo in the face. "I Hait u, ur so stuwpid!"

The black mad said "Hey giv me money or else I will sht on ur face." "Well jokes on you I like being shit on my face" Said Leo. So the man took a shit on Leo's face and Leo said "Oh Thank you for sht'n on my face how can I repay you" The man said: "You cn giv me money", Leo gave him money and he said 'thank u' again. Than Leo turned to Aeris and said "I hate my life."

The fallowing day:

Leo walked up to Aeris and leaned up very close to her ass and said. "Hey Aeris." "What?" she replied. "Suck my Dik ok?" "What!" Aeris was shocked. "Suck my dick alright?" "Well...I mean...I guess I could-" "Hahahaha just joking." Leo interrupted. "Oh, yeah...joking, alright...haha..." ***Awkward silence***

All of a sudden Leo felt a tension in his ass. *A wild boner appeared* "Is that a mouse in your pants Leo?" Said Aeris. "Yeah..." Said Leo "Let me see :D" "Umm, its not that kind of a mouse Aeris..." "What why? What do you mean?" "You know Aeris, Once there come a time in every man's life when he gets a sudden erection caused by some unknown sexual attraction, it could be a goat, a cow, a dog, a cat or some 12 year old girl that eats her own used tampon. You never know..." "Oh...so can I see the mouse :D?" "Ugh... yeah, go on."

3 seconds later:

"Yeah Aeris im sorry..." "I will never look at you in the same way I always did." "Why?" "Because I didn't know you hide a mouse in your pants, we could have shared it, you never share things." "Actually we can share the mouse if u want, you can eat it first ;) (Winky face)" if you know what I mean.

20 minutes later at the hospital:

"So please tell me again, how was your penis bitten off?" Asked the doctor. "Well...lets say my friend didn't get the joke ;)" HAW HAW HAW HAW (please kill me)

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**I hope I didn't insult anyone or anything. The spelling mistakes were intended if you're not clever enough. So yeah... I suggest you to contact your nearby priest because by reading this you might have got possessed by some devil shit. Be sure to check you doctor reading this can also give you cancer. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Here you go. Some quotes from famous youtube channels may appear such as Gamegrumps or The Creatures hope you like it. **

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Chapter 2: (TTT) Trouble in Terrorist town

After waiting 4 hours, the two cats finally connected to the server. Right from the spawn they were flooded with 12 year old squeakers and other fags that started spamming in the chat.

Fancok1: SPAM!.

Jjdog: YO my homies, lets crack dis shit down you dig?

Guest23: Who wants to be friends with me?

GuRLGameR: Hey Guyyys, I just wanted to tell you thai im a girlll.

Sp00nerism: I'm not a soundboard...

BroArmYfaG666: I like pewdiepieeee

Steveere: Kill me.

Paragonnova: CHECK THE FUCKING LOGS!

Chewbaka: Who wants to play minecraft wif me?

Eddfuck36: We'll bang ok?

The chat was spammed like shit, but that didn't discourage Aeris and Leo. They began the match with both being the innocent. They would have to be cautious and watch out for the traitors. They were new to this game and they didn't know the rules of the game so well.

Leo shot Chewbaka because he was acting suspicious. After that he was booted for RDM'ing. On the other hand Aeris was just walking around the map when suddenly...

Sp00nerism: r u a gurl?

Aeris: Yeah I am why?

Paragonnova: Will you marry my son?

Aeris: Erm...no I don't think so.

Paragonnova shot Aeris right in da face. Than he was booted for RDM'ing. Everybody piled up in one corner and Sp00nerism detonated a bomb on himself. He changed the Jihad sound to the leeroy jenkins sound, so all you could hear was, "LEEEERROYYYY JENKINNNSSS! BOOOOM!" so yeah, **TRAITORS WIN. **Both cats rage quitted.

Leo said, "You happy? This, this is what I gotto to deal with...This is what I have to fucking deal with...THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO FUCKING DEAL WITH!" He got up from the couch and walked up to Alex (The guy that writes these shit ass stories(me)), And he said "Alex...You're fired..." Alex shrugged his shoulders.

Aeris said "No you can't kick out Alex!" "Y" "Because he will kill us." "Y" "Cuz...i donno man, he just has this thing and he can fuk'n, you know. He like fuk'n chop us up and shit. "Makes sense," replied Leo. Alex walked up to Leo veerryyy close, Hes like one head taller than Leo, so it was all like spooky n' shit. "Leo,"said Alex in a deep ass black voice. "Oh Imma slice the fuck out of you Biatch!" Alex within a single second took out his tooth pick and slashed Leo in da face. Than he screamed "LEEROOYYYY JENKINNNSSS!" And explode'd'd, **INNOCENT WIN. **

"Wait what?" Said Aeris puzzled. *A Wild Sp00n has appeared*. "Who the fuck are you?" Said Aeris, "CoME hERe!" Said Sp00n and threw ecto plasm at Aeris making her spuer horny n' shit but Sp00n is a horse so there was no love.

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**Thanks for checking me out gang, be sure to stay tuned next week when me and others are having a BBQ. Matter of fact, we're doing it right fucking now...**


	3. Chapter 3

Very nice BBQ yes yes

Chapter 3: BBQ

On another day, our two friends were making a barbecue for themselves. It was a very sunny day too! So, as Leo was doing the fire thingy Aeris decided to push him into the fire, as a joke. Leo went into flames and died. She decided to taste him, and so she did. "Fucking raw." She mumbled and walked up to Alex that was planking on a stack of planks. Why? Because fuck you that's why.

"Alex" She said.

"wut nigga?" He replied.

"Leo died."

"k." Replied Alex and stood up. He gracefully walked up to Leo's body, he picked him up and shouted. "Why u fuk'n die u lorzor!" He threw the body on the ground. "ur a fag lol. Get up nau or else I kill u!" "Please don't kill me." Said Leo. "i shit on ur face niga!" "Alright, alright!" Leo stood up "Happy!" "No" replied Alex and shot him in the face.

Meanwhile Aeris went to the shop to buy some meat and stuff. She opened the door and went inside. "Hi, can I hv sum fucking meat n' shit?" She asked politely.

"i have no willy." Replied the butcher.

"wat?" Aeris was confused.

"baby giraffe."

"Wut u talkn about?"

"pre-sandwiched."

"NIGGA WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT!" She became a little bit angry.

"Frog penis."

"ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT!"

"ye"

"Alright than can I hav sum of dis meat and we gonna do this shit in the garden, niga u dig?"

"Ye, ye, ye I get you homie."

The butcher gave some baby giraffe meat to Aeris and she paid noth'n! Because she's a fucking bad ass just like that.

She came back and found Leo sitting on a tree doing nothing. "wat u doin up that motherfuckin tree!" "I'm sorry I was just relaxing, I didn't know you worked so hard to get that meat, sorry." "Leo hau many times do I hv to tell you to stop being such a stewpid idiot and stawph speakn leik dat! You sound so stewpd!" "But im speaking politely. You're the one that speaks like a 12-year-old." Aeris smacked Leo in the face, she cried and started texting Alex.

"Alx" Said Aeris, still crying.

"WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT AGAIN WOMAN!"

"I'm sad..."

"...bitch...get the fuck outa my face..."

"But im a gurl and im a girl gamr and you should like me because im sexy like dat. You know that all guys love when girls play videogames and than they give me attention. I love that. They all say nice words to me and try to be 'friends' with me but im like 'no im too good for you' and so all guys love girl gamers right?"

"too long don't read." Alex said simply.

"What the fuck dude! Read it!

"Aeris, kill yourself."

"Oh because all of your answer to people that make you 'lose faith in humanity' is just 'kill yourself'? Your not any better than me im smart too!"

"You're*"

"Go fuck yourself Alex..."

"Hey Aeris!"

"What?"

"How about we play some games for fun and not be a total attention whore every time you stumble upon a guy."

"forking life no one luvs dis piz of doodo :( I hate every 1"

Leo approached Aeris and kissed her in the lips like a motherfucker. "Leo what the fuck!?" "What, you don't like it?" "Yes i do..." "We'll bang ok?" "k"

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Meet me next week. I'll post something. It will be fun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey. I stopped writing for a long while simply because I wasn't enjoying myself, and this is something that I think is most important while writing, and especially writing things that people will want to read. So anyway, I will finish this one more chapter, just for the fun, and i'll see how it will work out. If you're wondering I deleted my other story TGH aka 'The Golden Hellcat' simply because it was a lump of fucking mess and I didn't want anybody to read it in case somebody would get a brain cancer from reading this shit. I was also thinking of maybe, I repeat maybe, writing some story on a different universe like pokemon or some other shit like that. So if anyone's interested be sure to check it out.**

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Chapter 4: The Story Behind Vg cats.

You may be wondering on the true story behind Vg cats but i've got the only true one. This is the real story of how Vg cats were created. So hold onto your seats and try not to shit your pants because recently people were complaining about the shit stains on their pants after reading my stories.

Leo had a brother named Sp00n, who strangely was a half horse half human. Sp00n and Leo were born under the bridge with a bunch of homeless men that smelled like used tampons. They only fed themselves with toothpaste and substances found in used condoms that were occasionally thrown out on the street. On the other hand Leo was the first child to be born anally through his mothers rectum, and that explains why Leo didn't die after his failed abortion. But that's another story. Leo and Sp00n were best friends until Leo met Aeris who was sucking dicks for quarters behind a local liquor store. Sp00n also met a friend named James aka Nova who luckily was also as retarded as Leo. In their younger days Leo and Sp00n were unusual kids. Their mother fed them with acid and that's why Leo is so fucked up. They were also sleeping in the basement because their dad was abusing them with pirated copies of 50's music.

Before Leo met Aeris she was born through a horse's rectum. She was inappropriately touched by hens on her family farm and her dad made her put glass in her vagina. She was raised by Mongolians and in her teenage years she had to shave her ass hair with a machete which caused her to be so ugly that nobody wanted to fuck her, not even the local priest. While her dad was sticking out his ass in the shower at a local police station, she was harvesting wheat for money so that they could pay the bills. One day the bailiff came to their house and took their shit. They didn't have enough money so Aeris's parents sold her for five bucks on a black market. Later than she was working in the port, turning over pasta and scraping shells off nets.

She found enjoyment in playing war videogames after a nuclear bomb fell on Hiroshima in 2069.

She played Halo and Lollipop Chainsaw on the new Super Potato 64 that she found while working at a gay strip club in Mexico. The Super Potato 64 had 37 GB of ram which disappointed Aeris because she couldn't play more advanced games like Tetris or Pacman. She wouldn't play Tetris anyway because she thought it was too brutal. Leo found enjoyment in videogames when sp00n started making letsplays and commentary over animal sex, but soon was put into jail for bestiality.

As I said earlier Leo met Aeris doing BJ's. They were both desperate for money. A man named Pantsman who was also mentally retarded after a fire accident decided to hire them. When Pantsman was small his cradle caught on fire and his dad tried to put out the fire by using a spade witch made Pantsman's Scull crush into pulp. That's why he wears pants on his face to cover up his scar.

Now Aeris and Leo are creating comics on the internet just like Sp00n and Nova who make videogame commentary and letsplays.

Till this day:

Aeris is currently searching to know which mailman is her father.

Leo is still biting on steel bars to get out of the basement.

James is masturbating and Sp00n is getting a seizure.

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**If you're no so bright, all of the content was supposed to be funny and wasn't meant to insult anyone. If you don't know who's Nova and sp00n be sure to check out their youtube channels, they're awesome people. Also to all of you people who read fanfiction here, any story from any author, please leave a review, it motivates the writer ALOT! So if you're tired of slow updates and writers giving up of their stories be sure to favourite and review. I'm not talking about myself right now I'm talking about any writer on this website. It really gives a reason to continue writing. I've seen many awesome stories and they only had like one review per 20k words. Again if you want somebody to update more frequently give them support. So anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter and had a nice laugh, I believe I will be writing another story, maybe who knows, so thanks for reading my shit. Cya. **


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